


HAIKYUU!! X READER ONESHOTS

by Veles (mortedeveles)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29328978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortedeveles/pseuds/Veles
Summary: Reader insert oneshots with Haikyuu!! characters. Enjoy :)COPYRIGHT © 2020-2021 BY VELES.The fanfiction content here and some other elements belong to me, but all the Haikyuu characters belong to its respective owners. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE (COPY AND CLAIM AS YOURS) OR MONETIZE OR USE MY CONTENT FOR AUDIOFICS!!
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. Faint of heart. (Sugawara K. x gn!reader)

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is part of a Valentine's Day Event, Cupid's Arrow! Make sure to check out my Tumblr (@mortedeveles) for the whole writing event.   
> SUMMARY: This Valentine’s Day, your boyfriend Suga has decided to take you to an amusement park. The problem is, you’re terrified of rollercoasters, and he happens to love them. And if you add two totally immature chaperones to the equation, chaos is bound to break loose. 
> 
> PAIRING: Sugawara Koshi x gender neutral! reader, ft. Nishinoya & Tanaka [platonic] 
> 
> THEMES: fluff, a bit of chaos, humor. [ONE-SHOT] [CUPID’S ARROW WRITING EVENT] 
> 
> WORD COUNT: 4.7k (around 4,747 words) 
> 
> TAGS & TW’S: nothing much, just descriptions of jump scares, rollercoasters, reader is afraid/nervous of them in here, sugawara is a sneaky boi, might be some slight cursing.

Valentine’s Day meant a lot of things to you. Before attending Karasuno High, it was just another holiday, giving giri-choco to your friends, or simply staying at home with family. But ever since you met Sugawara Koshi, things were different. 

Pretty different, to be honest. From being shy acquaintances, fleeting looks, and burning cheeks, your relationship with the grey-haired boy had evolved into much more. To friends, loud laughter and mischievous adventures, and finally, to intimate lovers, shared kisses, whispers of promises and affection, sneaking out to spend the night together, it was safe to say that it was certainly an adventure- one that you enjoyed and hoped for it to never end. 

And this Valentine’s Day, your boyfriend seemed to agree with you. Although customary to give honmei-choco to those you desired as romantic partners, Suga had set the idea aside, deciding it was his turn to give you something this year. 

You were excited to see what he had in plan, and after revealing his surprise, you weren’t sure how to feel. The moment you heard the words leave Suga’s lips, you knew you were doomed. It was a simple sentence but brought back childhood memories of screaming kids, impossibly tall and long rides, which usually ended with you in tears or hunched over, puking out your guts. 

And all you could think about was, out of all the things he could’ve chosen, did he really have to decide on a…

‘’…amusement park,’’ he had said with a bright smile. ‘’And I was thinking we should go on the roller coasters! It’ll be a lot of fun.’’

Your mouth felt dry. Here you were, sitting on your boyfriend’s lap as he talked about going to an amusement park today, with wide eyes and a bright smile. He looked so happy and excited, and who were you to destroy that child-like happiness? If anything, you never wanted it to end. So that’s why you agreed to go, even if your stomach twisted and churned on the way there.

Suga was driving, one hand on the steering wheel, the other one linked with your hand. It was your only comfort at the moment, and every now and then you’d squeeze his hand to calm down. He’d look over to you with a soft smile, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before returning his gaze to the road. Your other hand felt clammy with sweat, slight anxiety building in your stomach. 

‘’Suga…’’ you spoke into the static silence. He hummed in acknowledgment, waiting for you to continue. 

‘’I have something to tell you,’’ you swallowed. ‘’It’s about, uh….the amusement park.’’ 

At this, you watched his eyebrows furrow, but he remained silent, urging you to continue.

‘’I’m….I’m afraid of-’’ a sudden honk behind you two made you jump, and Sugawara cursed. 

The two of you looked back, only to meet the grinning faces of two all classmates, and a smiling blonde, waving at you frantically. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, jaw slack. 

‘’It’s Nishinoya and Tanaka-!’’ Sugawara said with an open jaw, shocked as well. He quickly pulled over, and the car behind you two did the same. Hastily, the both of you stepped out of the car, racing to greet the second-years. Tanaka’s sister stayed in the car, watching the interaction develop with a smirk.

‘’Hey!’’ They both cheered, racing towards the two of you. 

You laughed loudly, ‘’How did you guys know we were heading to the amusement park?’ You asked. Sugawara’s shocked expression quickly washed away, and now he looked rather grumpy.

‘’Our… customer gave us the information, told us you two were going on a date,’’ Tanaka said in such a serious tone, that you couldn’t help but snort. 

‘’It’s a date between Y/N and me, not with you two rascals.’’ He grumbled. They gasped dramatically, shaking their heads.

‘’Aww, don’t be like that, Suga-san!’’ The shorter one said with a grin. Tanaka huffed in agreement and grinned wickedly.

‘’Daichi-san sent us. He told us to supervise you two. After all- without us, who knows what type of things you guys are up to-?!’’ 

You scoffed, albeit your face warming up, while Suga snickered, pulling you snug against his chest. He upturned his nose with a grin.

‘’Whatever we do is none of your business! Anyway, it’s Valentine’s Day, shouldn’t you guys be trying to ask Kiyoko out?’’ Surprisingly, they shook their heads, sporting confident smiles. 

‘’Don’t you know Valentine’s Day is also about friendship, Suga-san?’’ Nishinoya said.

‘’Not only did we come to supervise you, but we also came as bros!’’ Tanaka piped in. Nishinoya cheered in agreement, before Sugawara and you watched blankly as the two second-years fist-bumped each other, a mischievous glint in their eyes. 

‘’Alright…’’ Sugawara sighed defeatedly. You giggled at his expression. ‘’Let’s go Y/N, we’re almost there,’’ he eyed the two boys. ‘’And you two as well, I guess…’’

They attempted to laugh throatily in response and only ended up looking like fools. You laughed on the way back into the car. Once the doors slammed shut, you buckled up, glancing at Sugawara. His eyebrows were knitted together, looking displeased. Both his hands were on the steering wheel, clenched tightly. 

‘’Hey,’’ you said softly, hand reaching out to wrap around his. Immediately, his eyes snapped towards yours, hands slowly unclenching. ‘’Everything alright?’’ 

The boy let out a shaky breath, before smiling faintly. ‘’Yeah…’’ he chewed on his lip. ‘’I’m sorry- are you okay with them tagging along? I had everything planned out, just so it would be the two of us,’’ he huffed, shaking his head. ‘’But it looks like we have company.’’ 

You smiled, leaning over to press a kiss on his forehead. His body relaxed under your touch, lines of stress fading away. It made your heart warm. 

‘’It’s fine Suga, you didn’t ask them to come. If there’s anyone to blame, we need to talk to Daichi once we return.’’ He laughed and nodded in agreement.

‘’We sure do.’’ 

Seeing him regain his composure, you settled back into your seat, eyes pinned on the amusement park ahead of you. 

‘’Since they’re here now, we might as well enjoy it together. The more the merrier, right?’’ 

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

As it turned out, the more, was not the merrier. Upon arriving at the theme park, the second-years raced towards the entrance, screaming and making fools of themselves. Suga and you stayed behind, carrying your few bags, attempting to not look ashamed. Saeko had waved goodbye to you guys, before speeding off. You hoped she would return to pick up the second-years. 

‘’They’re here to chaperone us, but why do I feel that we’re going to babysit them?’’ your boyfriend groaned, and you laughed.

‘’It’s Tanaka and ‘Noya, you know how they get.’’ Sighing in response, Suga continued forward, his hand wrapped around yours. 

Despite being afraid of the roller-coasters, you smiled. The sky was clear, seemingly hand-painted with a baby blue, very few clouds, and only the sun in sight. Not too harsh to make you constantly sweat, but enough to provide you with warmth. A perfect balance. 

And with Sugawara’s hand on yours, everything was nearly perfect. His grey hair was gently swept by the wind as if even the powerful currents of air were afraid of moving it. The sun poured on his skin, and you felt your heart thud loudly. He was beautiful. 

‘’Y/N?’’ His voice snapped you out of your thoughts. With a small smile and burning cheeks, you focused on the site ahead. The two of you had just gone past the billing entrance and were inside the amusement park. Kilometers of brick flooring stretched ahead of you, several booth tables and running children ahead. In the background, you saw the all too familiar roller coasters and gulped. 

‘’Yeah?’’ He laughed airily, squeezing your hand. You couldn’t get enough of him. 

‘’I was asking you where you want to go first, but you spaced out,’’ he watched you with a faint smile. 

‘’I don’t know,’’ you admitted. The sudden shrieking that pierced the air made you snap your eyes ahead, watching as a crow attacked Nishinoya’s hair, while he raced in circles and cried out. Tanaka was laughing loudly, tears in his eyes, and did not attempt to help the other second-year. 

‘’I told you,’’ Sugawara groaned as the two of you raced to aid the crying libero. ‘’We’re stuck babysitting them.’’ 

Between shouts of pain, yelps and cries, and one bitten finger after, Nishinoya had been freed. He was pouting as the four of you walked towards the rides that were ahead. 

‘’Are you sure you’re okay, ‘Noya?’’ You patted his hair affectionately, checking for blood or any injuries.

‘’Yeah…’’ he whined. ‘’I think I just lost my dignity though. Being attacked by a bird, in front of all those people.’’ 

At Nishinoya’s side, Tanaka snorted. ‘’What dignity, bro? You got none,’’ he cackled maniacally as the shorter boy growled in annoyance. Suga and you watched the exchange with mild amusement, his arm wrapped around your shoulders, having you pressed up to his side. It was warm and you snuggled into his chest. 

‘’You’re the one to talk Tanaka, what makes you think you have any dignity as well?’’ At his snarky remark, you let out a stifled laugh, which only grew louder as the three boys began to bicker. 

You watched the interaction with a warm smile, savoring the moments. Maybe you hadn’t been able to spend Valentine’s Day alone with Sugawara, but at least you were with the people you loved… even if some of them had you questioning your choices in making friends.

In a matter of a few minutes, the bickering died down as the four of you arrived at the first event, a spooky house. These didn’t affect you as much, at least not as much as rollercoasters, so you strode in confidently. The four of you paid for your ticket, and waited in line, the dark and black house at your left. 

‘’Hey,’’ Sugawara nudged your shoulder. ‘’Are you scared?’’

With a dismissive shrug, you shook your head. ‘’Nah, I’m good. Spooky houses aren’t really scary if you think about it. After all, it’s just a bunch of robots, cheap jumpscares, and underpaid workers.’’ 

He snorted. ‘’Yeah, I guess so,’’ his eyes trailed to Tanaka and Nishinoya, who were waiting in front of you. ‘’I’m afraid we might get kicked out because of them though.’’ 

You chuckled. ‘’Let’s just say we don’t know them.’’ 

Soon enough, the waiting line began to shorten and the four of you stepped inside the scary house. Everything was dark, and you could only spot the fluorescent arrows high on the wall indicating where to go next. 

‘’It’s really dark,’’ you commented. Instinctively, you grabbed Suga’s hand. He murmured in agreement. The two of you walked towards the next room, standing behind Tanaka and Nishinoya, who were chattering loudly. 

You would hear the occasional groan of exhaustion, the floor creaking under your feet, but nothing else. Just as you guys arrived at the entrance to the other room, the wall next to you suddenly opened. It was a hidden door.

‘’Beware!’’ A sudden stranger poked their head out of the wall, bathed in what seemed blood, before they were seemingly dragged away, back into the room, screams echoing. You let out a fearful scream, racing out of the room, Sugawara running at your side. Ahead of you, the second-years shrieked and ran, their arms thrown in the air. Soon, the four of you entered a tight and narrow corridor, resorting to walking in a line. 

‘’Go in front of me,’’ Suga told you, gently pulling you in front of him. ‘’I’ll be right behind you.’’ 

‘’Okay,’’ you whispered, eyes pinned to your left. The corridor was pitch black and you could only see some lighting ahead and yet… something told you that someone was watching you. 

A chorus of loud moans and groans ripped through the air, and you shrieked as you felt a finger brush against your left side. Behind you, Sugawara let out a frightened shout of his own, while Tanaka and Nishinoya squealed like frightened pigs. 

Ahead of you, the second-years stopped in their tracks as one of the robotic fingers had gotten stuck in Nishinoya’s shirt. He was squealing, shouting, desperately trying to run away. You heard the loud tear of the fabric, before the two boys ran out of the corridor, tripping over their own feet.

While you would’ve laughed at this on any other occasion, you too were frightened, and instead, reached for Suga’s hand behind you, racing out of the spooky house together. Running past the fake corpses hanging from the ceiling, feeling hands ghost over your body, you didn’t stop until you felt sunlight prick at your eyes. 

Gasping loudly, the two of you walked into a black curtain, finally out of the house. Wheezing, you bent over your knees. Sugawara wasn’t any better, his breathing labored.

‘’Wow,’’ your gasps for air turned into breathless laughter. ‘’That was… scarier than I thought it would be.’’

Sugawara chuckled. ‘’Yeah, for sure. Although it was shorter than I expected.’’ 

You raised your gaze, squinting your eyes as the sudden sunlight invaded your eyesight. You were only a few feet away from the original entrance, as the house didn’t stray far from it, and only stretched ahead to its left. Ahead of you, Tanaka and Nishinoya were sitting at a table, bickering about god knows what. The two of you strolled towards the pair and snorted when you spotted Nishinoya’s tee shirt. It was torn apart at the side, exposing his skin like a crop top.

‘’Well,’’ you said with a grin, sitting down on the bench. ‘’Decided to spice up your clothes, ‘Noya?’’ 

He whined, grabbing the tips of the ripped fabric. ‘’It got caught on those damn robot fingers! I had to keep moving, so I just forced myself to keep running, and…’’ his shoulders slumped, pouting dramatically. ‘’My shirt ripped.’’

Tanaka cackled, shaking his head in amusement. You smiled, and your boyfriend, who took a seat next to you, sighed exasperatedly.

‘’What are we going to do with you troublemakers?’’ He murmured with disapproval, tapping his fingers on the table. Despite the annoyance in his tone, you smiled. You could see the gleam of amusement in his eyes and knew that he wouldn’t have had this any other way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

‘’Woohoo!’’ Tanaka shouted. He pulled off his shirt, quickly wringing it in the air before racing towards the water fountains. Nishinoya quickly followed after his friend, discarding his shirt and footwear to splash in the water.

‘’Do you wanna go in?’’ You nudged your boyfriend. 

His eyes trailed over the fountains of water, watching as children splashed around in the water, squeals, and screams of joy invading your ears. The creamy mosaic tiles of the water fountain section were slick with water, and there was a sidewalk ahead of the fountains, and a lake stretched beyond the railing of the sidewalk. At your sides, were some mosaic stairs in which clothes were strewn on, and in others some people were sitting down, chatting without a care in the world. 

‘’Yeah, sure,’’ he agreed with a smile. ‘’Did you bring your swimwear beneath your clothes?’’ You nodded eagerly. You quickly pulled off your shirt, rolling your eyes when Sugawara wolf-whistled. Once you discarded your shirt and bottoms, tugged off your footwear and socks, you were left in your swimwear. 

Sugawara on the other hand simply discarded the black jacket he was wearing, pulled off his tee-shirt, wearing nothing beneath it (you may or may have not stared at him while he did so), and pulled off his denim jeans, revealing a pair of swim shorts. You snorted, shaking your head. 

‘’How did you stuff those shorts under your jeans?’’ Somewhat impressed, you raised an eyebrow and rested a fist on your waist. 

He chuckled. ‘’I have my secrets.’’ Without further ado, the two of you folded your clothing, leaving it atop of your bags, before Suga grabbed your hand, and the two of you raced barefoot to the water fountains.

You shivered as the water drenched you, cold liquid splashing against your warm skin. Sugawara was laughing loudly, hands splayed at his sides, redirecting the water. You squealed when it splashed against your eyes, and retaliated, sticking a hand in front of a water hole, sending it straight towards Suga’s knee. He yelped, and rubbed his knee, while you snickered. 

‘’How cruel,’’ he said as you gasped when he pulled you into his arms in one quick movement. His voice was teasing and there was a mischievous smile spreading across his cheeks. 

‘’I learned from the best.’’ You grinned and leaned closer as his arms tightened around your waist. 

‘’Mhm…’’ his voice trailed off, and his attention quickly snapped towards your lips. ‘’You sure did.’’ 

His lips slowly connected with yours, and you greedily accepted them, the warmth spreading through your otherwise cold and drenched body. Your hands went to the back of his neck, slowly creeping up to his hair. Just as the kiss grew deeper, a loud shout ripped through the air.

‘’HELL YEAH!’’ Tanaka shouted, and you slowly pulled away with a long sigh, only to have your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets at the current sight. 

Tanaka was cheering, arms in the air as Nishinoya knelt at his side, mouth wide open, the stream of water shooting inside.

‘’NISHINOYA, DON’T DRINK THE WATER-!’’

Sugawara and you raced towards the troublesome pair, barely arriving at the other side of the water fountains without slipping on your head. And after minutes of Tanaka screaming, Nishinoya groaning and whining, you managed to pull away from the latter from the water fountain, rushing towards the restrooms. 

‘’Nishinoya!’’ You scolded him while Sugawara inspected him. ‘’What in the world gave you the idea to drink the fountain water? That isn’t purified water, you dumbass.’’ 

Tanaka trudged into the restrooms just as you finished chewing Nishinoya out, walking in with a bright grin.

‘’That was fun!’’ You could only sigh in response.

After a few minutes, everyone took a quick shower in their respective stalls, dried up, and pulled on some dry clothes. You had just walked out of the dressing room when you met Sugawara’s gaze, who had just stepped out as well.

‘’Hey,’’ you gave him a bright smile. ‘’Where are we going now?’’ 

Sugawara hummed thoughtfully as the two of you strolled out of the foggy washrooms and the sun hit your still somewhat humid skin.

‘’I’m not sure. Oh,’’ he suddenly stopped in his tracks and you stopped as well. 

‘’What is it?’’ You asked while the grey-haired boy stared at his surroundings as if looking for the second-years. His eyes narrowed, but once he didn’t spot them, they returned to you, softening.

‘’I have something for you.’’ Fiddling with the backpack that was slung over his shoulder, you watched as he pulled out a small, black box.

‘’Suga…’’ You said, rather excited but cautious. ‘’If this is what I think it is-’’ 

‘’Huh?’’ He looked confused, but then his eyes widened. ‘’Oh! No, relax sweetheart,’’ he chucked. ‘’We’re still in high school, I’m not proposing.’’ 

‘’Oh, okay,’’ you replied, chest feeling much lighter. While you did like to think of marrying your boyfriend and other type of daydreams, right now was too soon for that…

‘’I was planning to give you this at the end of the day,’’ he said. ‘’But since we have some unexpected guests with us… I thought I’d just give it to you now, while they’re not here.’’ Slowly, he opened the box, and you let out a small gasp of surprise.

It was absolutely beautiful. The silver chain was gleaming in the sunlight, and the (favorite/color) heart pendant had a delicately carved S. A smile stretched across your lips, and Suga gently pulled out the necklace, looking at you expectantly.

‘’Would you like me to put it on you?’’ He asked softly, and you nodded eagerly. You stepped towards him, back facing his chest. You brushed your hair to the side, and you felt his long and nimble fingers trace your collarbone, before delicately placing the necklace around your neck. The cool metal made you slightly shiver, and your boyfriend quickly clasped it and stepped away. 

‘’What do you think?’’ 

‘’I love it!’’ Sugawara’s lips curled upwards. You quickly threw your arms around him, tugging him closer to press a brief but sweet kiss on his lips.

‘’Thank you so much. I have a gift of my own for you,’’ the boy’s eyebrows quirked upwards. ‘’But you’ll get it once you get home.’’ With a teasing smile on your lips, your boyfriend smirked and nodded.

‘’Alright then,’’ he leaned to your ear. ‘’I’ll be waiting to unwrap it.’’

Giggling giddily, you stepped away, and the familiar voices of Nishinoya and Tanaka interrupted your thoughts.

‘’Well, what do we have here!’’ Tanaka wolf-whistled at the sight of Sugawara’s hand on your lower back, and you rolled your eyes.

‘’A relationship, Tanaka. Of course, you wouldn’t know, would you now?’’ You cackled as the boy gasped and began to mutter to himself.

‘’Alright, alright, calm down you two.’’ The voice of reason, Suga, stepped into the conversation and placed his hand on your upper back. 

Nishinoya merely hummed and bopped his head, seemingly quiet for once. It was an odd sight. 

‘’It’s time to visit my favorite ride,’’ the mischief in your boyfriend’s voice made your heart skip a beat.

You had completely forgotten about the rollercoasters! What were you supposed to do now? Run away? Come up with a lame excuse to get off the hook? You doubted Tanaka and ‘Noya would be persuaded easily. 

‘’Wait a second…’’ Sugawara paused as he squinted his eyes towards the view ahead of you, a large and imposing roller coaster. 

‘’Oh wow! It’s a new roller coaster, and it looks even bigger and taller than the old one,’’ you could hear the childlike excitement in his voice and it tugged at your heartstrings. ‘’Let’s go check it out!’’ 

Without further ado, your boyfriend clasped onto your hand, and the two of you sprinted towards the ride, feeling like your stomach was about to leap onto the ground. At your left, you spotted the second-years racing towards the ride as well.

Being only a few feet away from the coaster was nearly enough to give you a heart attack. You swallowed thickly and stared at the infrastructure. You were standing outside of the arch, which stretched into a sign that read, Cupid’s Arrow. A few feet ahead was the waiting line, with a few people already there. 

The railing of the ride was silver, but the actual seats of the ride were a soft pink, adorned with several hearts. You followed the people who had just hopped into the cart and winced as the ride began to move upwards, hearing the railing shift under it. It continued to increase in height, climbing, and climbing until it suddenly reached a stop. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. It didn’t look too bad… hopefully it would be a slow descent from there?

Your eyes widened as the cart suddenly dropped, moving at such a fast speed you had to blink twice to spot it. The screams of delight- or fear, you couldn’t tell, from the passengers ripped through the air.

You were going to be sick. 

‘’That looks like so much fun,’’ your boyfriend commented. ‘’C’mon, let’s go stand in the waiting line.’’ 

‘’Wait…’’ you froze in your place and tugged on his sleeve. He stopped and turned around, a questioning look on his face. 

‘’What is it, Y/N?’’ He tilted his head to the side.

‘’I…I can’t,’’ the words stumbled out of your head, but you couldn’t manage to get anything else out. 

‘’You can’t what?’’ His voice was calm and firm. You swallowed nervously and dug your nails into your left palm.

‘’Yo! The waiting line is loosening up, we’re about to go on, let’s go!’’ Nishinoya interrupted. Just as you opened your lips to protest again, Sugawara perked up at words and quickly led you to the waiting line.

Inconveniently for you, the four sets of carts pulled up at the entrance, and you sat down in the second set with Sugawara. Nishinoya and Tanaka were sitting in front of you, talking excitedly. Your heart was beating madly, pounding so hard, it felt like you were going to die.

‘’Suga…Can we get off?’’ He turned to look at you, confused. But it was too late, the ride’s worker had already done their walk around each cart, securely locking everyone into their seats. A shrill alarm made you wince, and the carts lurched forward.

‘’Oh god…’’ you mumbled and closed your eyes tightly.

‘’Y/N?’’ Sugawara reached to place his hand over yours. The ride’s restraints were pressed against your neck, and a belt was closed firmly over your lap. ‘’Do you not like roller coasters? You should’ve told me earlier,’’ 

‘’No, I…’’ you couldn’t finish your sentence, as a scream ripped from your throat as the cart launched downwards. 

The wind slapped against your face, and falling from such a high distance sent your heart to your throat. You couldn’t stop screaming, couldn’t close your eyes as the ride only went faster, and faster, taking a turn and before you knew it, you were upside down. The ride slowed for a second, and you whimpered.

‘’I hate roller coasters,’’ you said in a small voice, closing your eyes just as the ride lurched forward again, another terrified scream ripping from your chest.

Your mind was muddled, your stomach doing backflips and pure horror lodged in your throat. Nausea overtook you like a warm, suffocating blanket, and you felt your stomach churn. 

The ride came to a slow halt, and you breathed shakily. Your mind was racing, bouncing from one place to another, the sudden rush of adrenaline still lingering in your veins.

‘’Y/N? Y/N!’’ You opened your voice and met Sugawara’s concerned gaze, as he quickly helped you take off the restraints and step out of the cart. The moment your shoe touched the ground, you were falling to the side. Thankfully, Suga caught you before you hit the ground, and kept you in his arms. 

‘’Are you feeling okay? Oh god, you screamed a lot. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were terrified of roller coasters! I wouldn’t have even brought it up if I knew-’’ you raised your hand and stopped him in the middle of his rambling.

‘’It’s..okay,’’ but you weren’t. Nausea washed over you, wave after wave.

‘’But…I think I’m going to be sick.’’ The grey-haired boy’s eyes widened. In a blink of an eye, he had you in his arms, and the two of you raced towards the closest restrooms.

‘’Hang on!’’ He said while rushing towards the stalls. ‘’We’re almost there.’’ Soon enough, you were set on the floor and puked your guts out on the toilet. You felt Suga’s warm hair push your hair out of your face, just so you wouldn’t dirty yourself.

After puking much more than you’d like, you panted, hunched over the toilet. Sugawara was rubbing circles on your back, and the second-hand embarrassment began to seep in. 

‘’Oh god,’’ you mumbled, slowly getting up. ‘’I’m so sorry you had to see me like that.’’ You grabbed the toilet paper that was next to the toilet, ripping a piece and cleaning your mouth.

‘’Hey, it’s alright,’’ Sugawara said. ‘’Nothing to be ashamed about. I should’ve picked up on the fact that you aren’t good with rollercoasters, I’m sorry this happened.’’ 

You shook your head and flushed the toilet. The two of you stepped out of the stall, trudging towards the sink.

‘’You were so excited, and I didn’t want to ruin that,’’ you opened the sink faucet, and began to clean your face, wiping away residue. ‘’But I think I ruined it either way…’’

Staring at the sink, you couldn’t meet Sugawara’s gaze. Instead, you leaned towards the faucet of water, cleaning your mouth from the stench of vomit as much as you could. God, this was so embarrassing.

‘’You didn’t ruin it,’’ Sugawara argued. ‘’We still have a day ahead of us, don’t we? I don’t care if you vomited sweetheart, it’s perfectly normal to do so. Besides,’’ he pulled you into his arms, resting his head on top of yours. ‘’being able to be with you, just like this, is better than anything else in this entire world.’’ 

‘’Really?’’ You murmured, cuddling into his chest. It was warm, and listening to his heartbeat was soothing.

‘’Really.’’ You smiled. Slowly, Sugawara pulled away, his hand squeezing your shoulders firmly, a new look of determination shining in his eyes.

‘’As I said, the day isn’t over yet. Why don’t we go out there and enjoy it, hm?’’


	2. broken bones & broken hearts. (Oikawa T. x f!reader)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of the day, you realize that as best friends or lovers, Oikawa Tooru and you are never meant to be together.   
> PAIRING: Tooru Oikawa x fem!reader.   
> THEMES: ANGST- just angst, romance, childhood friends to lovers. [ONE-SHOT] [CUPID’S ARROW WRITING EVENT]   
> WORD COUNT: 5.7K (around 5744 words)  
> TAG’S AND TW’S: mental health issues, angst themes, breaking up, relationship issues, neglection, mentions of injuries & blood, somewhat suggestive content (sex is mentioned like once)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second fic is also part of the writing event, Cupid's Arrow !   
> writing this was a struggle, i'm not v content with it but i hope you will enjoy :)

You should’ve known that falling in love with Oikawa was a clear mistake. It was written in harsh bold letters, a dreadful red that was anything but forgettable. Before becoming your lover, he was your friend. And you should’ve kept it at that. 

But then again, you weren’t the quickest at sensing danger; from pulling your hand away from the roaring flames. You lingered, and waited, didn’t move until you felt the scorching heat of the fire on your delicate skin until you were burnt, the pain spreading throughout your body, like venom seeping into your veins. 

You were his friend for years. You should’ve known how committed he was to volleyball, what extent he’d go for the sport. He poured his entire life, sweat, tears, and blood into it. Volleyball was his priority; but so were you. Or at least, that’s what you tried to tell yourself. 

But as volleyball began to consume his life, spreading like a wildfire throughout his mind, the Oikawa you knew began to change. 

The beautiful and mesmerizing roses that adorned his soul began to rot and fall until all that was left were dozens of thorns, deadly and painful. Leaving you to cry over rotten petals. He would spend less and less time with you, postponing dates and forgetting important events. And suddenly, you weren’t a priority in his life anymore. 

Left you tugging at the other side of the rope, tugging with all your strength and willpower, only for him to drop the other end completely. Abandoned in static silence, with nothing but heartbreak and tears.

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Tooru was never good at keeping promises. 

I’ll make it to tonight’s date, I promise, he told you with a brief kiss before heading out. 

He didn’t make it. Left you sitting alone in a fancy restaurant, dressed up because you wanted to impress him tonight, only for him to never show up. You lost the count of how many times you checked your phone’s clock that night, or how many times you called or sent a message. They all went unanswered. 

‘’Where were you?’’ you uttered once the lights flickered on. Sitting in the living room in the dark, you raised an eyebrow when the door swung open. His parents had been out for the weekend, and you had already informed yours that you would spend the night at your boyfriend’s.

Oikawa jumped, before giving you a nervous smile. You quickly assessed his appearance, unsure how to feel. He was in his volleyball uniform, forehead slick with sweat, sporting some bruises on his legs and arms. You didn’t miss the way some of his fingers were taped together, or how his knuckles were stained with dried blood.

‘’You….’’ were at a loss of words. ‘’You ditched me for the tenth time just to...practice volleyball?’’ Your words were nothing but honest, and yet, they were harsh whips of poison on Oikawa’s wounds. He cringed slightly, before swallowing nervously.

‘’I’m sorry, baby,’’ he murmured, ‘’I was going to make it- I swear I was going to, but then I lost track of time and well…’’ 

‘’This happened.’’ You finished the sentence for him, crossing your arms over your chest in disapproval. 

He sighed, lowering his gaze to the floor. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ 

Eyeing his bloody knuckles, you frowned. An exasperated sigh left your lips. With a gentle tug on his upper arm, you took him to the bathroom. He watched you with a questioning look on his face but remained silent.

‘’Your knuckles,’’ you explained. ‘’We need to get them patched up.’’ His eyes softened. 

‘’No, it’s okay,-’’ he held out his hands in protest. ‘’I’m fine. Besides, I should be making it up to you, not like this. Don’t fuss over me, let me take care of you.’’ The determination was clear and loud in his words. A sad smile hung on his lips. 

Pursing your lips before breathing deeply, you insisted on him sitting on the toilet. He sat down with a reluctant frown, eyes following your movements.

‘’You can make it up to me,’’ you agreed. ‘’But after I patch you up, m’kay?’’

‘’Okay,’’ he hummed in agreement. Within a few minutes, you pulled out a medical kit and began to gently dab at his knuckles, kneeling between his open legs. 

The night was quiet, almost gentle, after your small argument. Oikawa merely hummed a song you couldn’t recognize while you mended his hands. After spending a few minutes in silence and being almost done cleaning his wounds, you felt Oikawa’s lips press a kiss on the top of your head. You raised your head, meeting his warm smile and soft eyes. 

‘’Thank you,’’ he murmured. ‘’I know I haven’t been paying enough attention to you… and I’m sorry about that. You don’t deserve that. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’’ his hand settled beneath your chin, slowly pulling you closer until your lips met.

His warm breath fanned over your lips, every stroke of movement fueling your heart with such intense fondness and familiarity that only Oikawa possessed. His hands cupped the back of your head, fingers rubbing at the base of your neck, while your own crawled and wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. Lips kept moving, tugging and dancing, until the two of you ran out of breath, slowly breaking apart with heaving chests. His forehead leaned against yours gently. 

‘’I love you,’’ he murmured while rubbing his thumb over your lips. With a content smile, you wrapped your fingers around his thumb, squeezing it tightly.

‘’I love you more, Tooru.’’ And you meant it.

His lips returned to yours, this time attacking with much more fervor and neediness. Within a few seconds, he had your legs locked around his waist, holding you in the air as he sought towards your bedroom. 

And for a few moments, in those moments where your lips couldn’t bear to leave him, when all clothes left your bodies and nothing but soft moans and loving whispers were said, you allowed yourself to forget. Forget all the broken promises, all the disappointments. Forget all the thorns that had stemmed in your relationship, inevitably hurting both of you. Oikawa was in your arms, he was with you, and that was all that mattered. 

You could deal with the ugly thorns later. 

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He first asked you out on Valentine’s Day. Now that you look back at it, your heart squeezes at the memory. You loved Oikawa with everything you had. He hadn’t rearranged his priorities yet- volleyball was a part of his life, but had yet to overtake all of it.

It was a hot, sizzling summer. The two of you were nearly done with secondary school and were soon on the way to high school. Specifically, Aoba Johsai. The high school of Oikawa’s dreams. As loyal best friends, you decided to follow him, to support his dreams- and the school also offered a handsome looking program of a career you were highly interested in pursuing. It all worked out. 

Today’s holiday loomed over you like a dark and suffocating cloud. After witnessing Oikawa politely reject several girls- while hopelessly pining after him, it was safe to say your mood wasn’t the best. But he was quick to notice, and since the two of you had no romantic dates for the holiday, decided to go to the local carnival as friends. Just like old times, as best friends and nothing else. Everything troublesome shoved to the side, just to cheer each other up.

‘’Y/N-chan!’’ He called out to you, waving and sending a wide smile. You grinned in response, quickly walking away from the junior high’s building, and racing towards the entrance gate, where Oikawa stood, leaning against the gates. 

‘’Took you long enough,’’ he said teasingly. ‘’Now c’mon, let’s go,’’ without hesitation, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, the close proximity leaving you to walk along with him with burning cheeks. Not that he noticed, his eyes were on the carnival that was a few minutes away from the school.

‘’I didn’t take that long!’’ You protested, shaking your head. ‘’My teacher was holding us back because we didn’t answer the last question he gave us,’’ you pouted, and the boy laughed loudly. His hand squeezed your shoulder, and your heart thumped loudly at this. You wondered if he could hear it, beating too fast for its own good, desperate to leap out and land in his hands. Wanting to be his. 

To your sides, you heard some of your classmates giggle, and felt dozens of eyes on your hands. Despite what everyone in your school thought, Oikawa and you weren’t dating. And as much as you’d like to, that wasn't your reality.

The two of you simply were affectionate and close with each other, having known each other since the fourth year of elementary, the two of you grew up like a pair of troublesome siblings. But you didn’t see Oikawa that way- no, your heart yearned for him. But anytime your hopes got up, they would immediately be crushed to the ground.

He saw you as a sister, you were sure of it. Heard him talk to Iwazumi, about how you meant so much to him, but as a friend. Nothing less and nothing more. 

It didn’t help that the boy was gorgeous. One of the downsides of being his best friend for years was constantly being approached by shy, giggling girls who asked if you’re his girlfriend- or asking you to deliver him a love letter, bowing their heads before you, eagerly holding out a cute pink envelope. 

‘’Hurry up!’’ Oikawa’s eager voice pulled you out of your thoughts. ‘’I can see the yatai stalls from here, let’s go!’’ He dropped your hand and began to jog towards the food stands, and you laughed briefly, before racing after him. The carnival had set up on the local but wide park, with fields of grass stretching ahead, trees, rocks and flowers littering the ground. 

‘’Last one pays for the food!’’ You said, shooting him a grin as you raced ahead of him. Heard him gasp loudly behind you, before picking up his pace and racing like never before, leaving you in the dust. You stopped for a moment and laughed at his speed, recollecting your breath as you bent over your knees. 

When you raised your head, you chuckled at the sight of Oikawa standing eagerly at a yakitori stand, quickly returning to you, holding two yakitori skewers. The sight of the roasted chicken, seasoned with tare sauce made your mouth water. In a matter of seconds, you ran up to your friend, quickly grabbing one of the yakitori. 

‘’Hey!’’ He protested, but you saw the humor in his eyes. You smiled innocently, biting into the chicken. 

‘’Thank you for paying, Tooru, even though I lost.’’ he shrugged nonchalantly, throwing an arm over your shoulders, the two of you walking away from the food stand. You blended in with the crowd of people, surrounded by food stands, kids running past you and the carnival’s rides echoing in the distance. 

‘’Don’t sweat it. I’ll be your date for today, so I have to be a gentleman, don’t I?’’ He said with a sleazy smile, and you snorted, unamused.

‘’Whatever you say, crappykawa,’’ you crooned and grinned when he gasped, looking genuinely offended.

‘’Who taught you that-?! Was it Iwa-chan?’’ He pouted. He stopped in his tracks, crossing his arms over his chest, looking away from you with a dramatic sigh. 

‘’I can’t believe you call me that too,’’ he grumbled, left shoe tapping against the ground. You fought back the urge to snort and giggle at the same time and instead, watched the boy carry out his dramatic antics with a small smile. 

‘’I’m heartbroken! Truly, I can expect this type of behavior from Iwa-chan, but you-,’’ he pointed his finger at you, emphasizing his point. You let out a stifled giggle. ‘’-I expected better from you, Y/N-chan.’’

With a thoughtful hum, you tapped your finger on your chin, before smiling. ‘’What can I say, Tooru? Iwaizumi has given me some great names for you,’’ with a giggle, you patted his shoulder. ‘’And they really suit you…’’ slowly tensing your body, preparing to race off. ‘’...Shittykawa!’’ You broke into a run, giggling and looking back, watching as Oikawa’s eyes widened before he raced after you.

‘’Hey! Get back here! I’m not done with you yet!’’ You giggled, ignoring the few stares of the other people in the carnival, racing past food stands, without any particular destination, just determined to outrun Oikawa. And by the way you heard footsteps thudding on the floor closely behind you, he was getting closer. So you sped up, forcing your legs to work at a faster pace. The crowd began to disperse the more you ran, leaving behind food stalls and entering a rather empty area of the carnival, nothing but trees and grass in your surroundings, and a few rides, but they were at a considerable distance. 

With a loud squeal, you were tackled onto the soft grass, giggling as Oikawa hovered above you, a smug grin on his face.

‘’Oooh,’’ you cooed. ‘’You caught me, crappykawa!’’ Your laugh grew louder as he groaned in annoyance, dropping his body on top of yours. You let out a loud oomph! as he continued to whine into your shoulder.

‘’Tooru,’’ you complained. ‘’You’re too heavy, get off!’’ With a slightly maniacal laugh, the boy pulled himself up, offering you his hand. You swallowed, and instead rejected his hand and got up on your feet. You missed the flash of hurt in his eyes, and smiled at him awkwardly as you patted your clothes. 

‘’Well then,’’ he looked at you with a smile that made your heart skip a beat. ‘’Let’s have some fun now, shall we?’’ 

The two of you had raced towards every ride possible, screaming your lungs out together, usually leaving the rides with loud giggles and satisfied smiles. Every now and then, your hand would brush against Oikawa’s, and you would meet his gaze. Immediately, you would spring back, face burning. The boy would react similarly, his face flushing as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

Soon enough, the bright sky began to slightly darken, and the sun began to set. Touches of warm orange and hints of purple blended with the baby blue, clouds moving positions, opening a path for the sun. 

After the both of you stuffed yourselves with so much food you nearly puked, Tooru pulled you towards the Ferris Wheel. The tall ride was perfect for the occasion; with the sun setting, and the air warm but soothing, it would be quite the sight and experience.

With an excited smile, you sat in one of the compartments with Oikawa, sitting across each other. Your knees brushed against each other, and you watched as your friend’s head bobbed as he swallowed visibly.

Once the two of you were seated, the ride quickly began to move. Gears shifted and the somewhat old infrastructure groaned, which was slightly concerning, but you quickly forgot about it when Oikawa began to talk.

‘’So,’’ he started, ‘’How did you enjoy Valentine’s Day with me?’’ The brown-haired boy gave you a crooked smile, and you gave him a smile of your own.

‘’It was fun. Thanks for spending the day with me Tooru, even if you had the choice to go with one of your fangirls.’’ He laughed at this.

‘’I wouldn’t want to spend the day with anyone else but you, Y/N.’’ Your heart somersaulted, and Oikawa wouldn’t stop staring at you.

‘’You don’t mean that,’’ the words left your lips before you could stop them. At this, Oikawa frowned and leaned closer to you. Your mouth felt dry. Trying to back away, you leaned backward, only to quickly meet the metallic wall of the compartment.

‘’What do you mean?’’ Within a few seconds, the atmosphere shifted. Gone was the playful but serene atmosphere, and was quickly replaced by a tense and stuffy environment. 

You swallowed nervously and looked away, deciding to gaze at the scenery at your left side. Trees swayed beneath you, the carnival full to the brim with people, running, walking, and screaming. The sun gently enveloped you the higher the Ferris Wheel took you, but you didn’t mind.

‘’You’re my best friend, Y/N. What do you mean I wouldn’t want to spend today with you?’’

You could sense confrontation, and it was the last thing you wanted to deal with. Wanted to hop off right away and run away from it. As far as you were concerned, confessing to Oikawa Tooru wasn’t in your agenda anytime soon. 

And yet, here you were. Wetting your lips before letting out a shaky sigh, slowly turning around to meet the boy’s gaze.

‘’That’s the problem,’’ you said in a low voice. ‘’To you, I’m nothing but your best friend. But to me, Tooru, you’re so much more than that. I...I like you, a lot.’’

He was silent for a few heartbeats. That was enough for you to feel rejected, to feel your chest tighten painfully, feeling a wave of painful emotions approach you.

‘’I know you don’t feel the same way,’’ you quickly interjected. ‘’But since you want to know, that’s what I meant.’’ 

The brown-haired boy let out a soft chuckle, and your eyes quickly snapped to his. He was watching you with a confused, but now relieved and soft expression.

‘’And who told you that?’’ Shifting in his seat, you swallowed as Oikawa got closer, his nose nearly brushing against yours.

‘’Told me what?’’ You repeated in an impossibly small voice, feeling your face grow warmer as the distance between your best friend and you decreased until it was nearly nonexistent.

‘’That I don’t return your feelings,’’ his lips slightly parted, and you watched them intently, swallowing when you watched the boy swipe his tongue over them. Couldn’t keep your eyes off the pretty, pink, and plump lips, especially when they were so close to you.

So close that if you merely moved forward in one swift movement, they’d be against yours. Just like forbidden fruit, Tooru Oikawa was so close in your reach, yet so far-so unattainable. 

Being so focused on his lips, your breath hitched when you finally registered his words. You met his eyes, searching for any lies or doubt in them. You found none. Felt your heart thump loudly when you saw nothing but honesty. 

‘’Wait…’’ your jaw almost dropped to the ground. ‘’What?’’ 

Instead of replying verbally, you gasped as Oikawa suddenly surged forward, and his lips were on yours. But then you froze, overwhelmed and confused. You had never kissed someone before- what were you supposed to do? At your sudden hesitance, your best friend pulled away. He watched the hint of fear and uncertainty in your expression and felt his heart drop to his stomach.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ he quickly said. ‘’Did you not want me to-’’ This time, you were the one surging forward, silencing him with your warm lips.

Both of you were inexperienced and were moving slowly and carefully. And yet, that didn’t stop it from feeling so sweet and warm. Oikawa felt you smile against his lips, your arms sliding to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. 

‘’This means you want to be my girlfriend, right?’’’ The boy said between kisses, and you pulled away to giggle. 

‘’Yes, Tooru, I want to be your girlfriend,’’ now nearly seated in his lap, you sent him a shy smile.

‘’Good…’’ he mumbled. For once, the usually confident and flirty boy was a mess. Pink cheeks 

and slightly ruffled hair, he could barely meet your gaze. ‘’Because I really want to be your boyfriend.’’ 

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Your eyes were burning, tired from being used all day. Class after class, endless notes to write resulted in you being exhausted. But that didn’t stop you from being excited. After the incident from a few days ago, in which Tooru stood you up and you ended up mending his hands, he took the initiative and said that you should have a home date together. It made your heart warm. Because for once, it felt like you weren’t the only one putting effort into this relationship. If he was willing to plan and set the date for you, then that was a good thing, right? There was still hope for the two of you. 

Except that as soon as your hopes got up, they were crushed. Since Oikawa was going to handle the date, he asked you to stay away from his house after school, until five o’clock, so he could get things ready for you.

So you spent a few hours at your house, doing some homework before getting ready for the date. To say you were excited was an understatement. Finally, after so many canceled dates, you would be able to spend some alone time with your boyfriend. Just Oikawa and you, and nothing else in between. 

And true to your word, you arrived at Oikawa’s house a few minutes past five o’clock, wearing an outfit that made you feel confident and pretty. You rang the doorbell and waited. And waited. Minutes passed by, and no one opened the door. Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows, deciding to knock instead. Again, no response.

With an exasperated sigh, you peeked through the windows, stomach twisting when you noticed the lights were off. No one was home.

Fumbling with your fingers, you quickly fished out your phone from your bag and dialed Oikawa. The phone continued to ring, and your boyfriend wasn’t picking up. After the sixth ring, you were sent to voicemail.

‘’Heyo! This is Oikawa. Unfortunately, I’m not available right now, so please leave a message.’’

He had to be kidding. You quickly ended the call, feeling overwhelmingly conflicted. You weren’t sad. You didn’t want to cry. How many dates had he stood you up? The amount was genuinely laughable at this point. 

‘’Would it kill him to make an effort?’’ You muttered harshly as you decided to sit on the house’s doorstep, biting the inside of the cheek.

You spent an hour or two sitting outside the house. Every now and then, a car would drive past the lone street. The trees swayed in the distance and the wind howled in your ears. It was already dark, and you could spot some bright stars in the sky. 

And by the time Oikawa showed up, you were so close to losing it. It took much of your restraint to not cry, sadness and fury were fighting over control over you, transforming into a painful combination.

‘’Glad you decided to show up,’’ you said quietly. You raked your eyes over Oikawa’s appearance. He was in his volleyball uniform, school backpack slung over his back, carrying in one hand two bags of groceries, and in the other one, his school uniform.

He met your gaze but remained silent. Maybe he was feeling guilty and didn’t know what to say. But you were far past thinking about that.

‘’Do you remember what you said to me on Valentine’s Day?’’ You met his gaze, tears pricking from your ears. Slowly, he shook his head.

‘’You said you really wanted to be my boyfriend,’’ you laughed, harshly wiping away at your tears. ‘’Well, it sure doesn’t feel like it.’’

‘’I’m…’’ he croaked, and you took notice of how his eyes began to water. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ You merely smiled at his apology.

‘’So, what was it this time? Did Iwa-chan want to practice his spikes over time? Had problems with the first-years? Go ahead Oikawa, tell me what’s your excuse this time.’’ He recoiled at your use of his last name. You always called him Tooru, sometimes shittykawa or crappykawa, but never just his last name, Oikawa.

‘’I was practicing my serves,’’ he murmured. ‘’They need to be better. But- I wasn’t planning on standing you up, I swear,’’ he held up the plastic bags in his right hand. ‘’I just came back from the store, I got the ingredients to cook you dinner...’’ 

‘’This is pathetic,’’ you quickly stood up, shaking your head. ‘’I can’t take this anymore!’’ You cried out. Tooru reached towards you, but you flinched away. 

‘’No,’’ you whispered. ‘’Don’t touch me. I’ve had enough, Oikawa. I know volleyball is your passion. I know, okay!? I’ve been to all your matches. Cheered for you, comforted you when you’d lost your match. You’re amazing,’’ you let out a dry laugh. 

‘’And that’s the problem. I...I don’t fit in your life. I don’t think I ever did,’’ you looked up at him with a shaky smile, but watery eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

‘’Don’t say that.’’ His voice was clogged with emotion. He dropped all his bags, and pulled you into his arms, even if you struggled. ‘’Don’t say that, please. You fit in my life. You’re my girlfriend, I love you, I need you.’’

With a gentle push, you slipped out of the setter’s arms. For once, he didn’t stop you. Only watched you with teary eyes as his lower lip wobbled.

‘’I need you too, Tooru.’’ You said with a small smile. ‘’You have all of me, and I only have parts of you. And I’m sorry, I really am.’’ 

‘’But I can’t love you like this. I can’t love you knowing that volleyball will always be first, that I’ll only get slivers of your time, and the sport will have your full and undivided attention. You’re going to be a superstar, baby,’’ you hiccuped. ‘’And I’m only going to drag you down.’’

‘’No,’’ he shook his head. ‘’No, no, no.’’ In a few steps, he pulled you into his chest, and you cried into his shirt. His head settled on top of yours, hands desperately holding your face. 

‘’I’ll be better, I promise. I’ll-I’ll make more time for you, and-and I’ll make a schedule! We’ll have more dates, and I will be at your side. I...I promise.’’ His voice was shaky and you watched his tears along with yours, stain his shirt.

‘’Don’t make promises you won’t keep, Tooru.’’ You pressed a kiss on his cheek. ‘’Didn’t your mom teach you that?’’ You chuckled softly.

‘’Please…’’ he cried into your hair. ‘’I love you. Don’t leave me.’’ 

‘’I have to.’’ You slowly removed his arms from your body. ‘’You know that.’’

He sniffled in response. You stepped closer to him until your nose was brushing against his. Tooru quickly understood, and his lips crashed into yours with great fervor, moving desperately, hungrily. You were just as eager to reply, and subconsciously, both of you knew why. This was your way of saying goodbye. 

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You were second best, and would always be second best. You weren’t enough for him, you never would be. His heart was set on volleyball, and it had always been.

How could you ever think he could love you? When you met, he had already given his heart away to the sport. And yet, he made space for you. Gave you small fragments that you thought were his everything; but were nothing but measly pieces, pieces you desperately hung to.

Your relationship with Tooru Oikawa was nothing but an unsteady foundation, the product of lovesick pre-teenagers, naive and hopeful as ever. Created for comfort, for tranquility, and most important of all, created with hope. But now? Now that all the veils have been revealed, when all truths have been spoken, and when there is nothing left to say, it’s bittersweet.

Bittersweet to the point you can’t bear thinking about it. It makes your stomach queasy, makes your heart ache, with tears bubbling up in your eyes. And at the same time, it fills you with such serenity and nostalgia, it makes you forget the pain and replaces it with fondness.

But only for a moment. And a moment is not enough. 

You still loved him, and he still loved you. Your paths that had once been tightly intertwined as children, slowly began to untangle throughout the years, choosing very, very different paths. Paths that couldn’t be tied together, too difficult, too painful, to remain as one.

They only met briefly, intertwined tightly, but just as fast as they intertwined, they quickly untangled. Oikawa Tooru was a person who was meant to reach the stars, to shine brightly above all. And what were you compared to him? You were your own person. But your path was far different from his. And no matter how hard you tried, Oikawa Tooru was not your path. 

Fate was cruel. It ripped you out of your fantasy and reminded you of how Oikawa would always choose volleyball first. You would never be his first choice. Made you realize that once the rose-tinted glasses were off, when everything was stripped naked and the bare truth laid before you, your paths were never meant to stay together.

The last sentence fully sinks into your mind as you shift in your seat. The cheering and roaring of excitement, loud screaming, and claps of encouragement echoing in the gymnasium. Watching Oikawa in the court feels like playing with poison; it hurts, hurts so much, remembering that you’ll always be his second option, and right now, you’re witnessing him shine brightly. Shining in the field of volleyball players, coaxing intimidation and awe into others. He was in his territory, ruling over all like a Great King. Without you. 

It’s one of Oikawa’s best performances. His spikes are brutal as always, leaving a deafening silence before the audience uproars and cheers. His skills are polished, and all of Seijoh is hungry for victory. Before you know it, the match ends and Seijoh has won. You watch as they all shout in glory, hugging each other fiercely. 

Usually, by now, you’d be racing down towards the court, jumping into Oikawa’s arms, smothering him in kisses. The thought pulls at your heartstrings, making you swallow a lump in your throat. The setter seems to remember as well, as his gaze meets yours, staring and lingering, but not moving. 

You want to go back to him. Race back into his arms, pull him into a desperate kiss, try to convey all your desires into the flurry of kisses, and have him laugh and slowly pull away with swollen lips.

But you can’t. Not again. 

This is for the best, you tell yourself as Oikawa and his team shake hands with the other team, and you don’t surge forward. You don’t cry out his name, watch as his eyes widen as you proclaim your love for him once again, just like out of a romantic drama. You don’t, and instead, you watch as he shakes hands firmly, a brief light of satisfaction in his eyes, before walking away from the opposing team. It’s for the best.

It’s okay; you don’t stop him from exiting the court. Your heart stutters as he suddenly stops, and glances at you. His lips part open, and even from this distance, and you can see the mix of emotions flashing in his eyes.

It’s for the best; you turn on your back and quickly exit the seating, as squeals and whoops of excitement continue to echo in the stadium. 

This is for the best, you tell yourself. Then why does it hurt so much? 

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His lungs are burning. 

There’s a painful ache in his thighs, especially in his knee, the type of pain that probably shouldn’t be overlooked, but he can’t find it himself to stop. The moment he caught sight of your face, of your tired and weary eyes, he froze. Thank god he didn’t notice you until the match was over- if he had seen you sooner, he might've messed up a serve, and lost the match.

Stop it, he curses himself. This is why you lost her. Stop thinking about volleyball, and think about her first. 

Once the referee blew the whistle, once he had shaken hands with the opposing team, once he saw you, he ran. Dropped everything and raced outside when he saw you retreat from the gymnasium, forced himself to run even though his body was screaming, forced himself to run towards your quickly disappearing figure. 

He shouted. Shouted your name, tears nearly sprouting from his eyes, shouted until his throat was raw. But you didn’t turn around. Not once. You kept running, running further and further away from him. He didn’t blame you, but that didn’t mean he wanted it to happen.

When he reaches the end of the street, he barely notices it was a dead end. His heart shatters and the voices in his head scream the loudest they ever have. You’re nowhere in sight.

A dead-end, he thinks bitterly. Of course, he had to reach a dead end. 

‘’Y/N…’’ he calls out one more time. His voice is ragged and his throat is burning, but he still calls out for you. But you never respond. You don’t step out of a corner of darkness or appear behind him, quickly racing towards him and embracing him in your oh so loving arms. Instead, Oikawa’s only response is silence. Deafening silence, so thick and tense he finds himself letting out a loud sob, dropping onto his knees, hands tugging at his hair harshly.

He’s selfish. Oikawa knows this very well, and yet, he still strung you along. Allowed you into his heart, even when he knew that in a few years, once he had graduated high school, he would be off, racing after his dreams. But the moment he first touched your lips, he stopped caring. When he witnessed your smile, all he could think about was seeing it again. Didn’t care about the implications, the pain his selfishness would bring. All he wanted was volleyball, and you. Was that too much to ask for? He loves you. 

Oikawa’s always been told that as the setter of Seijoh, he brings out the best in his players. Knows how to play their cards to the fullest. And even outside the court, he was the same. Always coaxing smiles and giggles out of people. Making people feel at ease around him.

Then why... did he only ever bring out the worst in you?


End file.
